Vampire Knight  AZ
by lolo14998
Summary: Funny stories and other things from A Z
1. Chapter 1 AE

**Me + Bored = RANDOM**

**NO FLAMING!**

A~E

**A= ASSHAT**

**Zero has been called many things, like; ****Sadist, massichist, and other words. Like the usual:**

**Evil bastard, Emo, bitch…things like that.**

**But never, I mean never, has he ever heard the term 'Asshat.'**

**That is, until Yuuki started to watch TV.**

**B= BITCHSLAP:**

**Aidou: I Challenge you to a duel sir, for Yuuki's heart!**

**Kaname:** ***Bitchslap***

**Aidou: Yeah, you win.**

**C= CHECKERS**

**Kaname: Yuuki. Love.**

**Yuuki: No. No. Not that. Please!**

**Kaname: What? I just want to hug you. **

**Yuuki: YOU EVIL GENIUS! NO!**

***SILENCE***

**Kaname: I win.**

**Yuuki: DAMMIT! THAT'S THE FIFTH TIME!**

**Kaname: I told you I was good a checkers.**

**Yuuki: Yeaaah. Checkers….**

**D= DOG**

**One day, Kuran Yuuki declared she wanted a Dog to her older brother Kaname.**

**His response:**

"**Yuuki, Zero's not allowed back in the house. He'll mess up the carpet again."  
**

**E= EVIL**

**Yuuki: Onii-Sama, what the definition of evil?**

**Kaname: It's distrustful, mean, and cruel.**

**Yuuki: Oh…Onii-Sama, what's the definition of masochist?**

**Kaname: Uncle Rido.  
**


	2. Chapter 2 FJ

**Me + Bored = RANDOM**

**NO FLAMING!**

F~J

**F= FUDGE STICKS**

**One fare day in the middle of spring inside the Kuran Mansion the youngest Pureblood had a craving. Surprised by this craving, she went to her older Brother in shame.**

"**Onii-Sama…" She walked up to him.**

"**Yes, Yuuki?" She gently sat on his lap, leaning her head by his.**

"**I…I want…" She blushed, his eyes widened.**

"**You want?" She wound her finger in his hair. "Anything you want…" He murmured.**

"**I want…" Kiss. "I want…"**

"**Yes?"**

"**Fudge sticks."**

***SILENCE***

"**What?"**

"**I want fudge sticks and Aido wound give them to me!"**

**Oh.**

**Again.**

**G= GNOMES.**

**Kaname could never understand why Yuuki liked Gnomes, he thought they where ugly little yard ordainments. But, no, Yuuki thought that they where 'Soo Kawii!' **

**So, what did Kaname do? He bought a four year old Yuuki a gnome with what he thought she would think is a 'cute' pair of devil horns and tail, he also had a big pair of red eyes, for Halloween, do doubt.**

**But no, when Kaname did that, Yuuki cried.**

**They was the Chairman looked at Kaname was as if he had brought home an evil talking doll, as ugly as hell.**

**Guess what the Chairman brought home the next day**

**H= Horses**

**Ruka hated horses, she thought they where ugly, long nosed things with straggly hair and strange eyes. And once on a fieldtrip to an equestrian museum, she voiced her opinion.**

**The responses:**

**Kain: Ah.**

**Rima: *SILENCE***

**Shiki: *SILENCE***

**Ichijou: Whhhhat!**

**Kaname: *SILENCE***

**Aido: Now you know how I feel when I look at **_**you.**_

***BITCHSLAP***

**And so not the good kind from Kaname.**

**I= ICARAMBA!**

**Once, Ichijou made a mistake and called Shiki the name of on of his Manga characters. Well, after that mistake, Ichijou had decided to clarify how him and the characters looked alike, and how he thought they where 'SO AMAZINGLY SCRUMPTIOUS!" But no, not in Japanese. Is SPANISH.**

**Shiki has no idea what he said, but a passing Kiryuu-Kun ...**

"**OH MY GOD!"**

"**Oh, Kiryuu-kun, you know Spanish?"**

**J= Just Kidding**

**That was something constantly in use at the Cross household. When ever Chairman needed Kaname over, he would call Kaname over with some emergency about Yuuki. Kaname would rush over, and find a happy Yuuki in his arms. **

**Totally. Fine.**

**What did the chairman say? Just Kidding!**

**So, Kaname a Yuuki composed a plan…**

**Later that month, when Kaname had gotten a call that Yuuki had broke her arm after falling of a tree, the plan was on.**

"**Yuuki, dear, do you understand the plan?"**

"**Yes…are you sure that you wont be hurt Kaname-Senpai?"**

"**Yes, Yuuki. I promise."**

"**Ok…"**

**Yuuki had run into the house screaming that Kaname had been hit by a car while rushing over, and the chairman had ran outside to find an ' unconscious' Kaname lying in the yard. **

"**KANAME-KUN!" The Chairman had yelled "LIVE!"**

**Kaname's plan hadn't worked out quite right, in the end Kaname left in a fluster, the Chairman as happy as ever, Zero mentally scared, and Yuuki happy.**

**Why was Yuuki happy? She has gotten to see CPR in person!  
**


	3. Chapter 3 KM

**Me + Bored = RANDOM**

**NO FLAMING!**

K~M

**K= Kewl**

**Ok, Cross Kaien joust couldn't understand kids.**

**They had so much funny talk and everything, like: LOL, or LMAO. He just didn't get it.**

**One day Cross was subbing for a English teacher in the first grade, and in the middle of his lecture on how to spell the word 'cool' one child interjects that it is not spelled C-O-O-L, it spelled K-E-W-l.**

**Well, Kaien politely dismissed the kid, saying that in the dictionary the word was in deed spelled C-O-O-l.**

**Well, the child rebelled. He just wouldn't agree that the darned word was spelled C-O-O-l. As Kaien Cross had had enough, he had the child look it up in the encyclopedia. **

**The child do? He did. Do you know what it said?**

_Definition of Kewl_ :. (kül, kyül). 1. (adj.) Slang. Totally awesome; great or exciting

Cross never disagreed with a child again.

**L- Loose.**

**One, in third grade Yuuki Cross was pulled form her class in a rush, by non other that Zero.**

**Well, poor Zero was in fifth grade by that time, and it was on picture day. Zero was wearing a white tucked in shirt and black slacks. **

**Well, his shirt had come loose from where it was tucked in his pants. The young Cross Yuuki has seen this, as she shared lunch break with Zero. Sadly for Zero, he had just exited the building and Yuuki was high up in the classroom on the third story. **

**What was our little Yuuki to do?**

**Scream.**

**Scream to Zero that 'He was loose!' from the top of her building, out her class window, and into the fifth grade lunch area.**

**M= Monopoly**

***Walks in* **

**Daughter: Hi, Dad.**

**Kaname: Hello, honey *Playing chess with Yuuki***

**Daughter: I hate that game…**

**Kaname: Yuuki! What have you been teaching our daughter?**

**Daughter and Yuuki: Monopoly?**


End file.
